The Engineer Song

Melody: 

Froggy Went A Courtin’

Tune: 

Lyrics: 

An engineer told me before he died, a-hum
(Titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum...)
An engineer told me before he died, a-hum
(a-Huuuuuum...)
An engineer told me before he died
I have no reason to believe he lied
A-hum titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum, a-hum

He had a wife with a cunt so wide, a-hum
(Titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum...)
(Repeat x 2 as above)

He had a wife with a cunt so wide
That she could never be satisfied
A-hum... (etc.)

So he built a bloody great wheel...
Two balls of brass and a prick of steel...

The balls of brass were filled with cream...
The whole damn issue was driven by steam...

He tied her hands to the head of the bed...
He tied her legs above her head...

There she lay, demanding a fuck...
He shook her hand and wished her luck...

Round and round went the great big wheel...
Up and down went the prick of steel...

Up and up went the level of steam...
Down and down went the level of cream...

Until at last the maiden cried...
“Enough, enough! I’m satisfied!”...

Now we come to the tragic bit...
There was no way of stopping it...

It went like the piston of a train,
He should have fitted a gearing chain,

Clouds of steam blew out the top,
There wasn't a way to make it stop,

She was torn from ass to tit...
The whole damn room was covered in shit...

Now we come to the bit that’s grim...
It jumped off her and started on him...

The last time that the thing was seen...
It was in Buckingham Palace fucking the Queen...

The crux of the matter is plain to be seen,
You should never trust a fuckin' MACHINE!

The moral of the story is clear...
Never fuck with an engineer!