The S & M Man

Melody: 

The Candyman

Lyrics: 

The S & M Man
The S&M man,
The S&M man,
The S&M man because he mixes it with love,
And makes the hurtin' feel good.
The hurtin' feel good.

Who can take a hammer,
Shove it up her twat,
Move it back and forth,
Til he finds her G-spot,

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Who can take a hammer,
Wave it overhead,
And slam it on his pecker,
Til he wishes he were dead?

CHORUS

Who can take a bicycle,
Rip off the seat,
Put his sister on it,
And push her down a bumpy street?

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Who can take some sandpaper,
Gotta be 50 grit,
Rub it back and forth,
Til she has a bleeding clit?

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Who can take an old wood saw,
Rusty, but still cuts,
Saw it back and forth,
Til he cuts off both his nuts?

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Who can take his pecker,
Slam it in a door,
Slam it back and forth,
Til he can't pee anymore?

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Who can take a chainsaw,
Rev it up on high,
Shove it up her arse,
Just to hear her scream and sigh?

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Who can take a razor,
And no shaving cream,
Scrape her pussy bald,
While he listens to her scream?

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Who can take a sander,
Make sure it's Black and Decker,
Rub it up and down,
Until you've got a bleeding pecker?

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Who can take a mallet,
Claim that he's a stud,
Smash it on his pecker,
Till it starts to ooze blood?

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Who can take a young girl,
Turn the lights down low,
Flip on the video camera,
And make like he's Rob Lowe?

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Who can take machinery,
To masturbate at work,
Rip off his left testis,
And pretend it didn't hurt?

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Who can take some fiberglass,
Wrap it round his pud,
Shove it up her arse,
Til she's shitting chunks of blood?

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Who can take a light bulb,
Shove it up her ass,
Fuck her up the rear,
Til she's shitting chunks of glass?

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Who can take just two bricks,
Take one in each hand,
Bang them on his balls,
Like the cymbals in the band?

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Who wears pants with zippers,
And no underwear,
Then pulls them up and down,
And rips out his pubic hair?

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Who can take their scrotum,
Stick it with a pin,
Hang on a bunch of weights,
Till it drags down to your shins?

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Who can take a chainsaw,
Cut the bitch in two,
Fuck the bottom half,
And toss the other half to you?

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Who can take their penis,
Feed it to a whore,
Then slam it in a door,
So you can't fuck no more?

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Who can take a condom,
Put pepper in the ring,
Use it on the wife,
'Cause she twitches when it stings?

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Who can take their penis,
Tie it in a knot,
Tighter yet tighter,
Until the fucker rots?

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Who can take two ice picks,
Stick them in her ears,
And ride her like a Harley,
While he fucks her up the rear?

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Who can take some jumper cables,
Hook them to her tits,
Start up the car,
And electrocute the bitch?

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Who can take his kiddies,
Out to a picnic binge,
Put them on the fire,
And watch the fuckers singe?

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Who can take put a kid's hand,
In a socket on the wall?
It's nice when they jerk,
Up against his balls?

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Who gives children candy,
Takes them round the block,
And rips up their innards,
With the ramming of his cock?

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Who can take a chainsaw,
Stick it up her hole,
Turn it round & round,
And make tuna casserole?

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Who can take some clothes pegs,
Hang his girlfriend by her nipples,
Leave the bitch just hanging,
Til her tits are nearly tripled?

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Who can take a Doberman,
Let him do a show,
Let him fuck his girlfriend,
While making a video?

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Who can take a hair curler,
Turn it up on high,
Stick it in her cunt,
And listen to her fry?

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Who can take some newlyweds,
Sneak into their room,
Fuck the bride in bed,
And sodomize the groom?

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Who can take a glass rod,
Shove it up his prick,
Put it on the table,
And smash it with a brick?

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Who can take a baby,
Throw it on a pile,
And fuck it up the ass,
Sish-ka-boby style?

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Who can take the Pope,
Lean him over the pew,
Fuck him up the ass,
'Till he admits he was a Jew?

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Who can take a vagina,
Suck out all the yeast,
Spit it into some dough,
And serve bread at the feast?

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Who can take a puppy,
Hold it by the ears,
Fuck it in the ass,
Until it sheds those puppy tears?

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Who can take a vice clamp.
Clamp it on a tit
Squeeze the sucker down
Till it pops just like a zit?

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Who can take a transvestite
Rip out one of his eyes
Skull fuck the bastard
While he listens to the cries?

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Who can take a Coke bottle
Shove it up her ass
Kidney punch the bitch
Until she's shitting blood and glass

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Who can take a cheese grater
Strap it to his arm
Fist fuck the bitch
And make vaginal Parmesan?

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Who can take a baby,
Lay it on a bed,
Turn the bugger over,
Fuck the soft spot in its head?

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Who can take a pregnant lady,
Fuck her til she's dead,
Leave his dick inside her,
While the fetus gives him head?

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Who can go to the abortion clinic,
Sneak around the back,
Root around the dumpster,
And find a tasty snack?

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Who can take a little girl,
Before she's on the rag,
Fuck her till she's dead,
And then toss her in a bag?

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Who can take their scrotum,
Stick it with a pin,
Hang on a bunch of weights,
Till it drags down to their shins?

CHORUS