The Hash Rover

Melody: 

The Wild Rover

Lyrics: 

CHORUS:
So it's no, nay, never
No nay never, no more
You won't find any country
Where it pays you to score

 
I've hashed the world over
Excitement I've sought
But all my experience
Was dearly bought
 
To tap a yank for a good screw
In my belief
Is like asking Mrs. Custer 
To give an Indian relief
 
(CHORUS)
 
The Aussies are well known
For their intake of beer
And they've all been to Sydney
Now isn't that queer?
 
Now haircuts for Germans
Are four times the price
They charge for each corner
And go over it twice
 
(CHORUS)
 
The Dutch they just sit there
Arsehole on a bike
One finger up a nostril
and one in a dyke
 
The closest Japanese gets
Is to suck on a mike
For the girls they will tell you
To take a hike
 
(CHORUS)
 
So it's off to Manila
Where you can score - no doubt
But every time you put it in
A baby comes out
 
Stuck here in Colombo
and you feel like a run
You can go to the hash
and they treat you like scum
 
(CHORUS)
 
But you know the Sri Lankans
Are good for a bash
And it's doubtful you'll end up
With that nasty rash
 
(CHORUS)